Saturday, 20 May 2017

“I almost cried at the metro”

That sentence broke me. An image of him waiting for the metro at the station, being overwhelmed by his emotions after reading that text he just got. My paper heart couldn’t take it.

Wednesday, 26 April 2017

divinity over kitkat cornetto

I was waiting for the elevator for 5 minutes but each one that came down was full. Each time the elevator opened its doors I had to deal with those sorry-you're-too-big-to-cram-in stares. Mark came out soon after, pressed the button, and boom! Of course an empty elevator came down for us. What kind of black magic, smh.

We walked down together, crossed the road aimlessly wishing we wouldn't be hit when we saw this little boy walking so cheerfully licking his chocolate ice cream. I stared at Mark. He stared at me. We understood each other; walked straight to the convenience store and got ourselves a kitkat cornetto for each.

We stood in front of the mamak place and just started enjoying our melting happiness because we couldn't take this on the train. Our conversations were on why McDonald's chocotop price is so much cheaper than the chocolate sundae when they're basically the same thing until I asked him one question.

'When you've tried everything you could to get that one thing you really want but all you got are rejections, do you believe it when people say there's something better planned for you?'

So there we talked, with countless people walking around us rushing to go home. I kinda feel like time stopped when you're in such a good conversation.

God is the best planner; that's what most people believe. That's what most people believe to comfort themselves. But where should we draw the line? In believing that we should give up one thing because God has a better plan, and in putting up a harder fight for it because it may be a test from God and He wanna see how much effort we will put on it.

It's an open discussion; there's no conclusion drawn.


Qyira and I had to make reservations for a few restaurants that we’re going to in the north this weekend for our social events with fellows and alumni. Izz? Social events??? I know right.

Anyways, when it came to calling the second restaurant, qyira asked me to speak with them because it’s going to be in malay and apparently, her Bahasa is even worse than mine. So, I did. I called the restaurant and a guy answered.

“Um, assalamualaikum.”


“Saya nak buat reservation untuk hari isnin next week, 4pm boleh?”

“Oh boleh boleh. Tak sekali dengan makanan kan?”

“Oh yup tak. Reserve space je for now. Untuk 15 orang.”

“Okay. Nama awak?”

“Er, qyira.” (because I was calling from her phone)


“Tak. QYIRA. Q-Y-I-R-A”


(I spelled it for him again but he never got it sigh)

“Ok takpelah tak jadi. Saya tukar nama ok. Nama saya Izz”

He laughed so hard… but still didn’t get my name. Qyira forced me to tell him my name is Izzati. And so I did.

“Ahh Izzati. Tukar guna nama kawan ke? Ahahaha”

Bro it ain’t funny. I’m so tired spelling out alphabets for you ok.

“Reservation under company Teach For Malaysia ya”

“Oh nanti dari mana?”

“Umm, KL” ???

“Oh so bukan orang sini ke?”

“Aah tak…. Dah confirm kan semua?”

I ended the call soon after and then qyira told me that Izzati is really her name too. 
Nur Qyira Izzati. So now we’re fighting who’s gonna be the ‘izzati’ who called the restaurant when we go there this Monday. I hope that guy won’t be there. Lol

*I openly admit that I am procrastinating from work by writing my blogpost now*

third person

She told me she’s never felt that way before. She’s never been truly, madly, deeply in love with someone. But he changed everything. He made flowers bloom in her heart and even in her eyes. He made her heart beats with a new rhythm she never had before. He made her feel brand new. You can see how her eyes beam with glittery sparkles when she speaks of him. Even I saw it, when she spoke to me.


Jealousy. She has no definite term to depict how she feels about this emotion. Sometimes it’s exultingly beautiful when she grasped that feeling jealous reminds her of how much she genuinely feels for that someone. But most of the times jealousy drowns and chokes her in an abyss of self-loathe for it reminds her that she is being possessive over someone, and she hates it. So she hates herself.

Tuesday, 25 April 2017

My heart is wrenched.

the new beauty blender

It's so important to force yourself to believe that you're gonna have a great day when you wake up. Force it, do it till you make it. And that's how my day went unbelievably well despite me being so demotivated to start the week after the long weekend.

Highlights of today was probably when qyira and I circulated the stupid video of the white girl who used her boyfriend's b*lls as her beauty blender amongst the interns. It was hilarious. Qyira's manager also joined in the conversation because he kept hearing us said the word 'disgusting' lol. I laughed so much. This kinda of joke is my forte guys. I'm not weird like Aniq. He laughs at such odd, unfunny things.. But he bought me lunch today so I gotta be nice. Oh!!! Tessa, Carmen, and I have also decided to start eating healthy starting today. Sooo fun to do it with friends.

Somehow I started feeling motivated again. Idk guys. It's a roller coaster. I'm not sure if rejections should make me think that maybe it's not meant for me and I should let go of it, or if they should make me go out of my ways again, do everything I could to get it. I really don't know:( I don't know where should I draw the line. I'm just doing what I can right now, and what I feel right. I just hope I won't have any regrets when I look back to this.

I somehow decided it's time to do a proper branding of the one thing I started a few years back. I reached out to Q for help and would love to hear what he has to say about things because he's so successful. We'll do it over coffee soon and I really look forward to that. I believe it'll be a good conversation regardless.

I'm almost finished with 13 reasons why btw. Not sure if I'm ready but as per se, everything comes to an end. That includes our lives. Death is definite.